& miss you!
i love you, and guarenteed, i miss you more <3
i hate life right about now. before i begin my rant this has nothing to do with anyone else (it has everything to do with everyone else) and i don’t want people to comment with the whole “are you okay,” worry comments, whatever because that’s not what I’m looking for. all i want to do is vent. vent Vent VENT. so let’s vent shall we.
. i don’t bow down to you atypical “you are holier than jesus” status and practically grovel at your feet and lie to my other friends to get you to like me. but it’s all good, really, it’s all good. if anything you’ve taught me how not to be a friend.i didn’t do anything. not one single thing. or perhaps i looked at you the wrong way. ohhhh, gee i apologize that i had everything you wanted at the time, i never asked for it, it just happened. GET OVER IT. your personality sucks. you, YOU SUCK. EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU SUCKS. I NEVER WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND EVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN.
ahh. it’s like writing letters you’ll never send.
maybe the reason why you never have that one thing you want most in life is because you suck. i cannot get over how completely selfish and self-centered and egotistical you are. they say that girls can be mean, but hell, you’re the devil. where do you get off calling the shots. your nothing but a low-life, backstabbing, evil, torment.
and you can read this, or not, i don’t know if you’ll ever see it but that’s not the point. it’s almost like a game, i’ll dangle it for a while and i hope you read it and i hope it’s a turning point for you because you need a slap in the face. YOU’RE NOT ALL THAT PRINCESS. fact is, you’re really nothing. you’re nothing. YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME.
i cannot wait to leave. leave ‘mayland,’ leave ‘good ole harco’ and move on to the better part of my life. the part where i can start over, where no one knows me and no one can ever try and ruin something that i worked so hard to keep together.
it’s like building a house out of certain things when you were little. you grew to realize that the more glue you put on the sticks, did not equal stability. people are unstable. things are unstable, relationships. are. unstable.
but that’s not the point. the point is that, you learn how much glue to put on the sticks and eventually, you learn to hate the way glue feels on your finger. you peel back the layers of borax from your skin and you take a look and the clean finger before you. trying to hard at making a friendship/relationship work is like all that glue you used as a preschooler. it’s poison. and if you don’t watch out, that glue will completely take over. but you can always start over. you can always wash your hands until the glue comes off and runs into the drain which leads to god knows where, but that’s not the point. after you figure out that glue doesn’t fix everything, you need to give up. try staples.
i wonder how bad it’ll be when i leave and i don’t come back. hahaha, good joke. i can count on one hand how many people i know, i truly and honestly know would miss me and their all blood related. and if you read this and think, “awh, i’ll miss her.” chances are i’ll leave and the phone calls, the texts, the messages will slowly come, few and far between till one day, they stop.
and then i can’t wait to come back. for a reunion. I can’t wait to lie low with all the achievements i plan on making in life. all the good things that i can’t wait to accomplish and finally give a final (and well overdue) middle finger to the people that caused me the worst pain in high school.
I love this.